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  • Writer's pictureLauren Kruse

5 Real Life ways my husband keeps up our romance...amidst the chaos of life.

"A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life". This is the googled definition of romance. I can't always relate to the feeling of mystery, because after a decade together, two kids, and a 2300 SF house there isn't much that is left to mysterious wonder. I can however relate to the feeling of excitement (still) and remoteness from everyday life. Dam if that last portion isn't key!

Here's the thing- I feel like your 20's are meant for late nights out with your lover. Crazy weekend trips (because you usually can't afford much more than a weekend), impromptu care-free date nights, and long mornings sleeping in, entwined with one another and nowhere to be...omg..can I just stay here a moment or two in fantasy land and relive those magical, child-free days? The good old days... ;).

I dream that my late 30's and early 40's will start to mimic this description of romance above with a tad more sophistication and hopefully with a lot more disposable income. Our kids will be older. Old enough to not worry about packing the breast pump ( because nothing says romance like having to whip that out amidst your time away), old enough to drop off with the grandparents without the fear of wondering if they're sleeping through the night and eating everything off their high chair. And we will be older. Old enough to be a little more established in our lives and career to maybe take that overseas trip and separate ourselves some from the day to day. A girl can dream, right?

So that leaves the now. And the now is that late 20's, early 30's stage of child rearing days full of wiping snot and flipping eggs, changing diapers and wiping spit up, bodies changing and boobs leaking.. all while trying to catch 5 minutes alone with your partner and feel sexy and romantic sneaking in a long kiss with your nursing bra on, your hair hard from an unknown substance (definitely not the Something about Mary kind), and your three year old sneaking in on you. So how do my husband and I do it? How do we keep the romance really and truly alive when this is the backdrop of it all? Here are the five things my husband does on the regular that feel more romantic to me than a dozen roses, candlelight, or chocolate ever could (Okay, sometimes maybe the chocolate wins, but you get the picture)..

1. He cleans my breast pumps.

Get me going baby! I mean..really and truly, does it get sexier than my shirtless man over the sink inserting that tiny sponge cleaner into all the crevices of my falanges? No, ladies. No it does not. I DREAD doing this. After toting around the bag all day and attaching the parts to my breasts every three hours, by the end of the day...get out of my sight breast pump and all your dumb attachments! Enter in sexual husband cleaning said parts on his own fruition. I love you.

2. Foot Rubs

Yummy. There is nothing sweeter or more romantic at the end of a crazy day than laying back on the couch with my laptop propped up to do more work and my legs stretched out on my husbands lap while he kneads and rubs my feet. This is beautiful. This is my favorite feeling. This is romance.

3. Cleaning out the Tupperware

I have a known gag reflex when it comes to old food being thrown out. I can't breathe in the smell or I will legit gag and it's possible I will never be able to eat that food again. I have also broken our disposal from attempting to shovel too much old food down there at once. But there is nothing worse than having a packed fridge with Tupperware filled with old food. So when my husband rolls up his sleeves and tackles this job on his own all I see are Cupid's tiny arrows hitting his face and hearts exploding everywhere. He knows I hate this and so he offers himself over to the unidentifiable food and fuzzy, once-edibles all in the name of love. Romance my good people, romance.

4. The old hair in the drain

Now I am not gonna lie, he has been slacking on this one a little. But man when he does it, I know he is mine forever. It's a nasty job. Ladies, we shed. Like we really freaking shed. Throw in postpartum hair loss and after one shower or a few brushes through my hair and my bathroom can look like a dam grooming salon. Y'all know this is NOT a pretty job. There are weird goopy things that hang out in a shower drain. The hair gets in disgusting knots and you're usually finagling it all out via bent wire clothes hanger and chucking into a Kroger bag. If I gag while emptying Tupperware, my husband nears his death bed when emptying our shower drain. But dam if he doesn't do it and dam if that isn't romance in your 30's.

5. He takes care of me

I mean, he really and truly loves on me and takes care of me. For as independent and strong willed as I can be, there is comfort in knowing I can safely let go of all those pretenses and allow my husband to just take care of me. The other night I was SO tired from a long day in the office, showings with clients late at night, and the dinner/bed time routine with the kids. I was getting dressed after the shower and started complaining about how exhausted I was and how I was dreading blow drying my hair (ladies with long hair, y'all know this sucks!). He picked me up, sat me on the counter and started blow drying my hair for me with so much gentleness and love. I mean, had some guy done this to me in my 20's, I would of been a little creeped out- haha- but as a married woman in her early 30's, this made me appreciate the man I had married with a fierceness.

6. He really and truly loves me in all my mess unconditionally

"You are so freaking cute". Anyone who knows my husband and I and have spent any amount of time with us has probably heard him say these words to me at some point or another as he gives me "the look". When I am all dolled up, when I am makeup-less and eating a bowl of cereal, when I am edgy and stressed with a baby on my countless other scenarios he looks at me and says these words with so much sincerity. I inevitably roll my eyes or playfully tell him to stop it, acting like it is no big deal. But the truth is, it is a big deal. The truth is this is one of the single most romantic things to me in the world. The simple fact that my husband looks at me with the same passion, desire, and love in his eyes now as he did when we were practically kids. He sees me the same now as he did then. I try and workout and eat healthy and really look my best for my husband, because that makes me feel good. But the truth is I have had two kids- I have breastfed two kids for over two years. At times I have had one B-cup boob and one D-cup boob. At the same time. Yet I can step out of the shower like this and all he sees is the woman he loves. He can be wildly inappropriate with me and take me back to our dating days. He really keeps that passion between us. And that, my friends, is real romance.



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